Orchestras Are Awful is a sarcastic card game for players who are all too used to being in pits.

Orchestras Are Awful is a question-answer card game played in the same basic style as Apples to Apples (™) or Cards Against Humanity (™). The dealer draws a questions card, and the other players choose the answer card from their hand they believe best matches it. In addition to having 3 special play cards unique to Truly Horrible Things products, what sets this game apart is that it is designed specifically for orchestra students, directors, fans, and musicians.

The card game Orchestras Are awful:

• contains 396 high quality, 300 gsm, glossy question and answer cards. 
• comes in a sturdy, 2-piece box.
• includes 3 unique cards - Blind Hand, Don't React, and Lucky Card.
• includes 6 blank cards you may personalize however you want.
• retails for $44.99.
• game dimensions: 8” x 4” x 2”, 29 oz.
• contains no profanity or sexually explicit descriptions. That said, phrases like “G strings” and “F holes” are native to orchestra speakers, so interpretation is up to you. 
• is appropriate for ages 12 and up. 

You really should be practicing right now.

Examples

Question Cards:

The orchestra pit is filled with _____.

_____ makes my director shake uncontrollably.

I started a new string quartet. It's called _____.

A group of violas is a lot like _____.

I am a violinist so I need lots of _____.

Only a true orch dork can appreciate _____.

What is the real reason why orchestras are awful?

Stop goofing off. It’s time to work on _____.

I wrote a memoir about my orchestra career. It’s called _____.

Rehearsal was a lot more fun after my director ditched _____.

I was going to practice, but I was distracted by _____.

This song should express a sense of _____.

Answer Cards:

dead strings

untimely peg slippage

having to choose between having fingernails and playing a string instrument

never knowing the name of your favorite music

tuning precisely to the oboe’s A434

consistently missing that low second finger

Kreutzer Etude No. 12

a stand partner who is consistently sharp

conductor hair

playing the world’s smallest violin, just for you

Itzhak Perlman alone with his blender

Yo-Yo Ma, playing with a yoyo, while yodeling YOLO

breaking a string while replacing another string

a violinist who can’t even

pretending you enjoy Schoenberg

the moment you realize all the Brandenburg Concerti are interchangeable

getting flicked with conductor sweat

a thrown baton (possibly on purpose, possibly your fault)